I cant take this pain anymore, im thinking about killing myself.?

Ive had depression for 5 and a half months now, and cant deal with this pain anymore. I have been suicidal for 4 months, and im really surprised i havent killed myself yet. If i did i would prob slit my throat, overdose, or jump. I saw a neurophycscologist 2day 4 a severe concussion i got 5 and a half months ago, and i just found out i have a permanment reading disability, (just makes my life so much better rite). i hav 2 get toutoring 10hrs a week 4 the 4 months of school work i missed. Thats just going 2 ruin my summer. I get nonstop migraines everyday since jan 2011, (when i got the concusssion), i get so dizzy everyday, that im nauseous, and i throw up, i barely eat anymore. I cant sleep at night and i end up cutting myself deeper and deeper everyday. Ive got over 20 cuts on my body and no1 has noticed them yet bcuz im so good at hiding, and faking everything in life. I always tried 2 put on a "happy face", and act like nothing was wrong all day durin school, then i wud come home, grab a knife and cut myself. Its the only thing that keeps me from suicide. Even my boyfriend dosent see how much pain im in. He knows i hav depression, and he knows i cut myself once, but he thought i stopped 3 months ago. And i hav 2 b careful of what i say cuz his mom works in a mental hospital, and there is no way in hell i want 2 end up there. I hate life, the other day i cut the words f. u. c. k. the world onto my leg. Im so tired of no1 understanding, all the emotional and physical pain i go through everyday. Since i cant sleep at night i basicly break down, holding a razor blade in my hand and do whatever comes to mind. I look up those suicide guides that r supposed to help, (well it just makes it worse for me, and everytime i talk about it i get worse also.) so there is no way im calling a suicide hotline, they would prob send the cops on me anyway... Im goin to a therapist thursday but i might kill myself b4 then, how can i get through the nxt couple of nites? Btw im 13